… since I made a post and I feel I am in need of confessional catharsis.


All is well at home. I still have my beautiful furry friends. They went to the vets this week for immunisation boosters and flea and worm treatments. Bentley is 5kg and Pixie is 3kg, both normal for their age and sex.

I had some new guttering put on the north face of the house to stop rain water flooding from the existing roofline guttering onto the lean-to shed roof and making a terrible noise. I can now sleep happily through rainstorms. The man also fixed a broken window latch and fitted a new power shower, since my old one conked out.

I still haven’t learned a single tune on the organ. I just can’t muster the will to sit and learn without any encouragement other than my own guilt that I’m not getting on with it. I did get to writing all the note letters on the keys, and I printed out the dots for “Whiter Shade of Pale”, so there’s that.

I’m gaining weight which bloody sucks. My lowest weight was 19 stone some time last year and now I have gained 3 stone back. FML. It’s my own fault for being a weak-willed person. I’ve started looking at revision surgery. It’s sad really, I had such high hopes for myself and as always, I let myself down. I still do parkrun and I’m still off the fags (which I think triggered this gain) but I’m not happy about getting heavier again. I’m determined not to let it slide as far as it did before.

I went to see The Silence of the Lambs with my friend Judy at the Film4 Somerset House showings. It was all open air and very pleasant. This is one of my favourite ever films and you know what, I would love it to become a cult classic where people dress up and say the lines along with the film. One day, one day…

I shall be attending a gala dinner for my Dad’s 70th birthday this month at The House of St Barnabas, to which I am very much looking forward. Lots of friends and people to talk to. Oddly, I’m the only other Gyseman family member there. I hope that attitude changes in future.



Plenty of changes at work that I’m not at liberty to discuss in an open forum. Suffice to say there has been upheaval and we’re surviving pretty well.  I’m still battling on against cheap, crappy hosting, bloody awful Virgin Media service, budget restrictions, ancient and fragile code and stupid customers. It keeps life exciting I suppose. The office is well on the way to getting a leased line installed from VM, which should clear up so many issues – can’t wait!

The open plan office has massive drawbacks, mind you. With Humbug Time looming ever closer, the denizens are trying to foist Xmas tunes on us for the whole of December. Maybe if I have a complete meltdown and try to kill someone, they’ll think again. I’m not alone in my objections, but no-one seems to give a toss about my stress levels. It’s Christmas! Cheer up you miserable Scrooge! Ho Ho Ho!



Doing a LOT of fantasy role-playing now. Up to four games a week and I’m involved in five separate campaigns. It’s getting tricky to keep them separated in my mind, but the char sheets help lots. My favourite by far is the Campaign of Darkness (CoD), where I play a Neutral Evil tiefling ranger. She’s a bad, bad girl and she doesn’t care whose fingers or toes she steps upon to reach her goals. There’s the potential for love interest, too. That’s a whole different ball of flaming tar, let me tell you. I’m struggling very hard to keep it fun but …oh dear…

Anyway, I’m getting to hang out with some really nice people. I’ve been made admin of the Facebook page titled “I F**king Love Role Playing” (IFLRP) which mostly involves fielding messages, posting posts and chatting shit with the other admins. I’m rather enjoying it.

I’m venturing into the realms of campaign writing, with a view to being a guest Games Master for my main tabletop DM’s home-brewed fantasy system. He asked me if I’d like to do it, just to see how it goes. How could I refuse? It must get a bit dull DM-ing all the time and getting very little actual RP in. I’m loving the ability to create a scene, plan out a building, populate it with NPCs and fill the towns with information about what goes on there. Strangely, it all came to me in a very vivid dream so it was best that I wrote it all down anyway. I do so like creative writing. Once I get going, as you can see…

I’ve bought loads of dice from The Dice Shop Online, including miniature lime green set, a Tesselations d2-d3-d4, a d50, a d100, a few d3 and a d11. I have also bought some miniature models and painted them, which meant buying Citadel paints, very fine brushes and a helping-hands with a magnifier now I’m losing my eyesight in my old age.

Best of all, for Hallowe’en, the CoD team dressed up as their evil characters and RPed until the witching hour. This involved me being painted red, wearing curling black horns, a leather basque and yellow eye contacts (Mad Hatters from Edit). It made me realise how much I missed LARPing, too.

You talking to me? Huh?


As for PC gaming, I purchased a copy of Elite: Dangerous and a Black Widow HOTAS joystick. And I play maybe an hour every couple of months. This is partly due to a total lack of friends in the game. It’s also partly that my PC isn’t quite up to snuff to play it smoothly, giving nasty stutter in sound and travel about half the time. In a game where accuracy and reactions are important, this makes it hard for me to enjoy the game. I’m planning upgrades, but life keeps dipping into my wallet.



There is none. At least, not in the real world. In my mind, there’s plenty going on, with all the attendant fluttering hearts and green-eyed jealousy. None of it can ever be spoken aloud. They don’t know and they don’t want to know. I’ll just keep it all in my head and continue to be single. It’s not always so bad – I can do what I want, when I want without having to arrange babysitters or plan ahead. I can nip out to the cinema on my own and watch what I want to watch. Likewise TV and PC activities. It’s a bit of a bummer cooking for just me and then having poorly lit dinners for one. It’s tough having nobody to hold on to when I need human contact. I can’t share any private and intimate looks or jokes.  If I let this go on too long, I’ll be undateable for good.


And on that note, I’ll close. Thanks for reading.